I seek continuous improvement, in myself, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, progression is my motto!  To continuously improve upon my ever-changing state, I take into consideration all that directly and indirectly affect me.  For example: My recent struggles with training, sickness and nutrition all directly affect me, my overall health and wellness.  Indirect frustrations such as social plans, friends and so-called important errands can be just as detrimental to my well-being.  Assessing my current state and minimizing negative extrinsic factors help assist in my continuous quest for improvement.  That being said; I am feeling much better today!  My routine this morning was great, exercising my demons with iron dumbbells and machines of steel.  Persistence comes to mind when thinking of how terrible I felt only a couple days ago, to now, enjoying a yogurt drink, fruit bar and reflections of progression.

Up and down and all around I go... When keeping a daily journal it's easy to track and analyze an array of positive and negative states of mind.  I'm reflecting on the first month of this New Year and realizing the consistent swing of my mental pendulum.  I right now sit pleased, happy about the simple pleasure of eating and enjoying dinner.  My mother said something profound to me today; "Aaron, she said. Based on your injury your body should be completely paralyzed"!  This statement struck a cord within me, I am aware of my condition, but seem to forget how hard my body works for me.  I never feel like I'm doing quite enough and when I'm feeling down and out I question, why?  From the beginning I've never really asked WHY, but rather HOW!  How can I overcome?  It seems though, through my process I've uncovered HOW to rebuild, although now I find the question WHY popping up.  Why is consistency so hard to find and maintain?  Unobstructed dedication would seem to yield some sort of constant, however hurdles are a part of life and living with a spinal cord injury has turned my hurdles into hills.  I will share that the writing of this journal entry has already diffused why and is a positive step towards HOW!

To my pleasant surprise the measurements Taylor documented today were favorable even though my month of January was less than optimal nutritionally.  I am recording my food consumption on a weekly chart and recently changed my supplementation, which I'm tolerating well.  As my weight and overall wellness improves so will the rigorous cardio vascular routines meant to build capacity.  My goal is consistency, a continuous climb, decreasing the amount of pitfalls enroute to more balanced days.  What's that old cliché saying?  "Rome wasn't built in a day"...

Over the last few days a lot of things have transpired for me.  My delinquency with my journal entries is inexcusable; however my new laptop computer will allow me greater access and more flexibility with my online work.  My weekend consisted of friends, family and football.  Super bowl Sunday is practically a holiday, so an afternoon of couch surfing, chips, dip, and chili dogs was the ideal way to watch the game.  Monday morning was training as usual, followed by an evening spent dressed to impress, marketing my mothers home-based business; "Arbonne  International" pure Swiss skin care.  My aunt and uncle were in town for a few days for the Arbonne business meetings, working and spending time with them is always fun. I love my family!  Yesterday's training was the start of a new lower body routine.  Taylor says we will spend the remainder of February performing functional movements in the gym.  So far I am responding well to the change and my appetite is improving as well.  Today, another early morning with Taylor kick started my energy charged solo session and lead into productivity for the rest of the day.  I sit now comfortably on my couch typing on my new laptop rather than held up in my office with blurred vision, double clicking the mouse, waiting for my computer application to un-freeze. Thank you Vito!!!

This morning's workout started rough but ended well.  While training with Taylor, performing lower extremity functional movements my ankles began to spasm.  This spasm is called "clonis", when the calf muscles contract violently, causing discomfort and dysfunction.  I really dislike clonis; I become extremely frustrated with the limitations it causes.  Taylor explained in great detail the physiological reasoning behind clonis in hopes of reducing my frustration, but little could cool me down.  I eventually regained my composure and re-focused my energy on my solo upper body routine.  I am definitely gaining strength; while performing my back exercises I lifted 20 pounds more than I ever have, an obvious sign of improvement.  So while training for functional movements is necessary, it has a way of creating great distress for me, there's just no substitute for lifting the old gold's gym iron, leaving all thought on the floor in a puddle of sweat.

In the western world there is a term cowboy's use to exclaim readiness.  "Cowboy Up"! ...In my terms, "Lets Rock"!  This morning I had the pleasure of retrieving my cousin Bowdy Peach from LAX Airport; he is in town for the weekend and will be staying with me.  Bowdy is a professional bull rider competing on the Professional Bull Riders circuit traveling the country in hopes of the perfect 8 second ride.  I figured since Bo was staying with me I'd give him a small glimpse of a training session with Taylor at Gold's Gym.  With his hat, boots and buckle on, Bo worked on core rotation while Toot's and I integrated both shoulders and core.  I was excited to have Bo join me in my world, so later I joined him in his... Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim was the venue for the exclusive PBR 2 day event.  Tonight Bowdy was paired up with a huge yellow bull named "Your Mama".  He rode that bull as though it were a cow, in full control until the last second.  He was bucked off right before the 8 second buzzer at 7.9 seconds.  You could here the crowd's disappointment and see the steam shooting from his ears.  In all, Bowdy and I had a great day together and will repeat our fun tomorrow. 

8 seconds... A bull riders dreams lay in these few moments, and for my cousin Bowdy 8 seconds is what he lives for.  Tonight we again drove south to Anaheim where Toot's and I watched in awe as these brave men challenged their 2000 pound opponents.  Bo thrilled the crowed with another valiant effort but was thwarted points when he was hurled off the beasts back at just over 6 seconds.  My PBR experience was especially sweet because of my confidence negotiating the hoards of people corralling through the Arrowhead Pond arena.  I have enjoyed Bowdy's company and look forward to spending more time with him.  100% Bo!

There is only one fun thing about riding a bicycle in the wind...a tail-wind.  When 30mph gusts are at your back, you sail down the road, with less effort and twice the speed.  Today we started our ride with the wind pushing us along, sending us cruising down HWY 126 at a swift pace, traveling further and further away from our start point.  The sun was out, the sky was blue and while riding with the wind I could hardly feel the air against my face as we pedaled along enjoying the valley view.  Inevitably though, we had to turn around.  The pleasant pace at which we were riding came to an abrupt crawl, hammering on the pedals just to maintain forward momentum.  It was as though I dropped an anchore and was towing it through the sand.  The brutal head-wind blew at us trying to stop our forward progress; this is when we put our heads down, focus the breathing and pump perfect pedal revolutions keeping the heart rate steady as not to overload and spike.  When we reached the car, Toot's and I shook hands and agreed on the great ride and the fact; suffering through self induced exercise thresh holds has an empowering effect that helps change the way you think.

Back in the gym and back to business as usual.  I'm feeling a slight soreness from yesterdays ride in the wind and I'm actually kind of tired.  My workout with Taylor was pretty mellow, which was ok with me since our ride was so intense.  Catching up on computer work is my focus in the office this week.  I still have tons of data to transfer from my desktop computer to my new laptop.  I'm enjoying the versatility of a wireless internet and find that using a laptop is much better fine-motor therapy for my hands.  I guess I'm a total tech geek now, carrying my laptop in my backpack to and from random locations.  I even found myself perusing the web while at the gym; showing Taylor and friends my computers capabilities.  Hopefully I get up to speed with my new tech tool; although unlike my computer I don't possess 1000 megabytes of RAM.

Some say it's just another day... I know I have in the past.  However this year today was made special by a beautiful person close to me.  I chose not to go to the gym this morning in lou of other business related work which needed to get done.  I thought I might get to relax while working the computer, but actually found myself tensing up causing soreness in my neck.  I have to make a point of getting up and moving around 5 minutes out of every hour to stretch.  I did feel rested enough for my evening plans; dinner reservations quickly turned into home-cooked lasagna and Cesar salad because of the crowded restaurants.  I was treated to a relaxing night of good food and beautiful company in the quiet comfort of a friend's home.  Valentines Day is a day just like the rest, so why celebrate love only once a year?

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Let's use boxing for an example; Every time I jab at a stationary punching bag I am admitting a positive force into the object.  However once contact is made with the bag many opposing forces act upon me and my stability.  Standing with a moderate base of support, (feet shoulder width apart) and weight shifting, from left to right while engaging the punching bag is for me, a total body challenge.  I must focus on maintaining my center of gravity over my base of support by synergistically contracting my core, legs, glutes and back muscles to keep from falling every time I punch.  My concern is not how hard I hit the bag, but rather the coordination of movements which allow for solid contact with the bag surface.  This type of training is fun and fatiguing, I enjoy punching the hell out of the bag, exercising my demons as well as muscles.

It has been far too long since my last massage, well over 2 months.  With the amount of training I've done, and the numerous ailments causing fatigue and stress, massage work is vital.  My function and coordination is determined by my spasticity and flexibility, both of which can be dramatically improved by deep tissue manipulation and passive static stretching.  Tonight was an introduction to a new masseuse.  In the comfort of my own living room, I received an epic 1:45 full body massage which had me drooling through the head support.  The benefits to this treatment are priceless; I hope to never again go so long without one.

There is an infinite world out there, sometimes my tunnel vision keeps my eyes focused and somewhat closed to life's diverse plain.  I have consumed myself with obtaining my goals, to the point of mental exhaustion, hence, the delinquency of journal entries.  I have become all to obsessed with the outcome rather than the process.  I today, realized how important it is for me to enjoy this moment.  "I thought I understood this concept well... apparently not well enough".  Right now I feel great, my body is strong, my appetite is good and I'm not looking to far down the road.  Sure, having goals and ultimate goals is good for me, but loosing sight of how good my life is right now is not.  The whole purpose for my rigorous training is to do just that... Live life; Eye's wide open absorbing it all.

On the heels of Friday's "live in the moment" epiphany I spent my weekend enjoying my girlfriends company and working on business projects.  Collaborating with my creative partner Matt is allot of fun, compiling our ideas and bringing friends together to help with the vision is a great way to work.  We worked wireless while scarffing on some home cooked hamburgers, hanging out with Toot's and friends.  I am feeling a sense of resolve, focusing on the things I can control, in the moment, absorbing it all.

Let's go for a ride!  An inviting sun shone upon clear blue skies posing as a warm spring day.  Warm it was not!  A chilly 48 degrees was the temperature on the bike path, making for goose bumps and stiff legs.  My window judgment had me wearing skimpy riding shorts and a sleeveless shirt, not the cold weather gear needed for today's charade weather.  Today being a holiday, there were many families picnicking at Balboa Park, lollygagging to and fro across the bicycle path.  Skateboards, strollers, scooters and 4 year old first time cyclists overcrowded the route turning my icy demeanor into a red hot mega phone, yelling yielding orders to meandering hazards.  In all, a good ride and great day.

Ice cold; the layer of frost on my windshield this morning was the first real sign of winter temperatures here in southern California.  My demeanor in the gym today matched that of the weather outside, although inside I burn.  Great passion and determination fuel my desire to optimize my potential, pushing me through hard times.  During my workout sessions I am not the most approachable person; my focused facial expressions tell it all.  I enjoy pushing my body to perform, especially when going from early morning dysfunction to mid-workout function.  There is a small gap between stiffness and fatigue where my body feels great!  This is the best part of my morning; warm and moving, pushing or pulling a little more weight than the week before...improvement!

I think we found a combination... Over the years I have suffered from early satiety, bloating and digestive problems.  My symptoms fluctuate depending on mental state, health and fatigue.  We have tried countless different supplements, natural and unnatural, diets with bland ingredients, and tinctures in the form of teas and smoothies.  At one point I was drinking all my calories just to maintain my weight.  Since the holidays my appetite has been non-existent, my stomach has actually been nauseated most of the time until recently.  Toot's discovered a new supplement which I take once a day with my other vitamins.  So far it's working!  My appetite has returned, my stomach is calm and I'm slowly gaining weight.  I can finally dream of my favorite foods again...

02-23-06

The Nervous System
A "Chess Player" is seated, back to you, hunkered down in concentration. Exposed are his spinal column and nerves. A "Teacher" holds a book in one hand, chalk in the other. We do not often consider the elegant complexity that brings a thought to action, every waking and non-waking moment of our lives.  -BW

Speaking generally, most everyday lives don't often think about the intricate symphony of actions the body performs to create the simplest of movement.  I know I never payed any attention to how my body allowed me to ride a motorcycle, only that I ride hard and fast!  Today however, my every move is a study of perfection, concentrating intensely on body mechanics.  I find myself standing in awe at how my body has abled me to do certain physical tasks such as; walking- slow and steady, riding a bicycle or driving a car.  Since going from severe dysfunction to function I have a constant awareness of every sensation, movement or muscle twitch signal my body sends my brain.  I sometimes wonder what kind of athlete I would be without an SCI and with total body awareness paying attention to every detail of my performance and health... Fun to dream, but what's important is; I know how to listen to my body now and that's what matters.  So listen to your body, the miraculous tune it plays is no mere song, but rather a beautifully orchestrated ballad of light and energy synergistically waltzing you through time and space.

Out on the open road is a place I enjoy being.  Nothing but asphalt and air, with the windows down I cruise, my mind full of reflections, or sometimes absent of any thought at all.  A desolate landscape is my ideal place for perspective and for me what better way to get there than to drive.

I suppose my pleasure of driving stems from my family's background of trucking; my grandfather Kenneth Stovall has been in the trucking industry practically his entire life and currently runs CJ refrigerated trucking out of Gainesville Texas.  I have been driving great distances since having my driver's license, so a 6 hour journey is no big deal.  Over the last few days my girl and I covered a few good miles across the California/Nevada desert.  Gas stations, fast-food restaurants and dirty brown hotel rooms were our road trip fun.  Like "Thelma and Louise" (except me being a man, Louise would have to be "Louis") we drove with the sun setting at our backs into a painted desert, where pale yellow sands separate hazy purple mountains and deep blue sky's.  Returning to the city was not all that welcoming and I was actually having a very difficult time in the gym. I was inches away from loosing my cool this morning.  I kept thinking about the road and its freedom, but as I dreamt while working out, the clarity of the old wise desert reaffirmed my own road.