Resignation filled the thin, cold, medical air in the waiting room of Harbor UCLA county hospital today. Surrounded by heavy eyes and even heavier energy, I felt the effects of today's majority in our health care system. The stained tile room was filled to capacity with all walks of life, fidgeting with vending machine snacks, magazines and annoying cell phones. There were gangsters, elderly couples, pregnant women, even a few homeless men, one of which was sprawled out on the floor just behind me on a sleeping bag. The eyes of these people told stories of defeat, deflated spirits beaten by an unfair world. What's true is the devastation experienced in the wake of catastrophic injury or illness, can easily lead one down the narrow hallways of utter defeat and lone darkness. Some choose to dwell at the bottom of the perilous sea of hopelessness, while others use the bottom as a spring board, launching themselves to ever soaring heights of hopefulness. A dear friend of mine named Mike McNamara     (a recovering paraplegic) said; "The only one who can stop me...Is me"! This profound statement resonates within me and its days like today that solidifies the power of its true meaning.

The love/hate feelings I have for my computer are starting to frighten me a bit. I swore a few years ago that I would never become a computer geek. Well, look at me now. I actually sit in front of this screen for fun. Yes! Fun, there is an endless amount of information on the web, all at our finger tips just waiting to be soaked up by eager minds. So much infact, it's like walking into a record store with particular music in mind and the moment you walk through the doors your mind blanks from overwhelming options. Sometimes I log on thinking of a certain topic and the moment I get to Google.com I'm lost...at the gateway of limitless information I pause. There are though, a few poignant sites that I frequent daily. A website called SynEarth.net provides topics that span the globe, covering everything from current events, to synergistic theories. Dr. Timothy Wilken, a physician and scientist is creator of this spring of knowledgeable information. I enjoy perusing this website reading short  topics like, "Beyond Property" by Dr. Wilken, "America's Truth Deficit" written by William Greider, "Ecocide", "Protecting the Future" and even helpful info like, "Grapefruit Good for Gastric Ulcers" BBC News. The real clout of this site lay in its sister pages... (Community of Minds) (Future Positive) and (The Time-Binding Trust) all accessed through SynEarth.net. There is a wealth of knowledge out there, if you can weed your way through spam, pop-ups, ads, and viruses. I right now love my computer, hopefully it won't crash and have me contemplating fixing it with a baseball bat. Computer nerd tip:  Make sure you regularly scan for viruses, run a disk clean up and defragment the hard drive...this will keep the silicon engine running smooth.

Rise Above! I often use that phrase when speaking about adversity. I like to use challenges as motivation to help me perform at my peak potential. What ever the hurdles, I rather boost over them with air to spare, than fall short wounding my spirit and pride. I have been diligently nursing my latest obstacle, an ankle and knee injury. This situation is sort of a catch 22, I need to refrain from weight bearing on my right ankle, but I also need to move! My body quickly looses muscle mass, strength, endurance and increases in spastisity and muscle tone if I don't push it daily. I have worked long and hard to build my capacity on a bicycle and I must continue if I'm to reach my goals. I need to ride, and today I did! I wrapped my ankle ready for battle and wheeled into the gym in my wheelchair. A unique tolerance must be built specific to cycling; the saddle (seat) comfort must be built over time and only time. The narrow arrow of foam, plastic and leather is far from comfortable to perch on for any length of time, that's why building and sustaining somewhat of a tolerance level is critical to cycling success. I posted up on the stationary bike in the training room at the gym and for the first 25 minutes performed and upper body strength protocol using natural body movements specific to my riding position (with out pedaling). It is far too soon to pedal with my right leg so I placed my foot on the frame of the bike and pedaled (single leg) using my eager left leg for 60 minutes. I satisfied crucial parts of my body, my undercarriage (perineum), spinal flexors and extensors (core), triceps and anterior deltoids/chest (upper body) and yes, my left leg. Whatever the obstacle that lay before you, accept it, analyze it (don't over analyze, it may keep you from taking the next step) then face it! Challenge it! And Rise Above and overcome with excellence! Your mind, body and spirit will thank you tomorrow.

8-04-2005

This quote was gifted me in the form of a hand painted post card from two very dear friends, Lindley Zerbe and Risa Okamoto. The vibrant water color depicts an endless road creasing a valley of hills, swallowed by a vivid rainbow of light. This card remains on my wall today, "Thank you". My graphic art rendition to the left doesn't quite do it justice, but dramatic none the less. I would like to share with you my friends Adam and Lindley and their amazing thirst for life. Lindley and his fraternal twin brother Adam and I have grown up together since the third grade. The three of us were wild! Half chimp, half Evel Knievel, we explored our world with bold alacrity and bare feet questing ever further and ever higher. Adam, bulky and blonde has the heart of ten men; he selflessly surrendered his everyday life to accompany me in my most desperate days of spinal cord injury. Adam stayed with me in the hospital relieving my parents and nurses of their duties and assisted in the transition from hospital to home. He has and always will be a rock solid fixture in my sand landscaped life. Lindley...how do I say...infrickencredible!!! Has always been brilliant, the brown haired, ball of muscle, has an intellectual level that's damn near NASA. He studied at Stanford and now occupies a prestigious position at the University of Singapore. Oh yeah! My favorite, he is also the Satellite communications power systems manager and medic for the NUS Centennial Mt.Everest expedition team. Lindley was hand picked from hundreds of applicants to join the NUS Everest team and has spent the last two years training and preparing for the teams attempt at summiting the world's tallest mountain. After braving the mountain for 2 months, waiting for the opportune moment in weather to make their summit bid, he did it!  May 31st at 8:15 am Nepal time, Lindley stood on top of the world, the first of 4 from his 6 man team. The human spirit can be so strong if only you allow it. I live to see and be that spirit! We all have our Mt.Everest; the only way to peak it is to...take that step.

From leg-press machines and body weight squats to lying supine on a therapy table pushing against manual resistance provided by Taylor's guiding hands. We have made necessary adjustments to my training program to continue working without further injuring my knee and ankle allowing for optimal healing. Funny how Taylor can implement a complete lower body workout for me while lying down, satisfying muscle groups specific to standing, walking and cycling. I kept thinking to myself the words of Christopher Reeves; "If you can't exercise standing up, exercise sitting down. If you can't exercise sitting down, exercise lying down. If you can't exercise lying down, think about exercise, because even just thinking about exercise will affect the physiology of the body".  So after my intense routine of manual resistance and visualization I again spent 50 minutes pedaling with one leg on the stationary bicycle, finishing just after 10:00 am. Our evening began when a house door opened reveling a welcoming smile on the face of  good friend. Tony Scott invited Toots and me along with a unique group of friends; Mike and Tom McNamerra, Taylor and a special guy known as the "The Myth" Bobak over for dinner and a movie. Tony is a good man and a good friend, sharing his home and delicious food with us all; talking in great detail about good times we've all shared. Another great day and step closer to tomorrow. Thanx Tony!

Synergy: Working together - Operating together in union as in Co-Operation, Laboring together collectively as in Co-Laboration, and Acting together harmoniously as in Co-Action. The goal of synergic union is to accomplish a larger more difficult task than what can be accomplished by individuals/systems working separately. (Resources for a greater understanding of Synergy are documented by Dr.Timothy Wilken at www.SynEarth.net). Ok, how, you say, does synergy apply to a spinal cord injury? Well, I visualize synergistic co-operation within my body everyday. And today, this theory weighed in the back of my mind after engaging my friend Donovan in conversation about movement and the body. Donovan, (c-4 recovering quadriplegic) described in great detail to me the positive affects a few specific muscular endurance exercises had on his physical and psychological state today. Our bodies are meant to move, every system in the body is designed to work synergistically specifically for our loco-motion through life. When sedentary, these systems such as the Circulatory, Digestive, Muscular, Skeletal, Integumentary, Respiratory and Nervous system cease to function all together properly and thus create a state of dysfunction in the body as a whole. When Donovan explained to me today how his entire body responded including his mindset after focused intention of elevating his heart rate, by cycling, increasing blood flow and skeletal strength, by standing and sustained energy, through nutrition had me visualizing my own internal structure and the effects of my sedentary day of rest. My body today is stiff; lying around with my foot in the air has altered my body's synergic function. My digestion, appetite, range of motion and flexibility have all been directly effected by my stillness. By visualizing and acting upon your brains most powerful thoughts, you can literally increase the synergistic Co-Operation of your bodies systems and flow of energy, producing happier, healthier, stronger, more productive days.

If you ever sit back and gaze out into a crowded promenade from your curb side restaurant table, or watch the chaotic bustle of shoppers in a shopping mall, or any place of mass entertainment for that matter, there is one consistent observation, human diversity. "People watching", is the term most recognized, and for me a fun past time. Through what seems to be an infinite diversity of faces, shapes, colors, and sizes, stands one individual second to none. Bobak, a mentally challenged smiling myth of a man, stands out in a sea of people, and is hands down the single most enthusiastic person I know. So happy to see a familiar face, if he spots you from across a quiet, crowded movie theater, he will jump up, yell out your name and peal out across the room in a flash to greet you with a smile and a handshake. His exuberance for life and friendship are infectious, and even though his difficult to understand audio sometimes leaves you scratching your head, there is no mistaking the sincerity within his eyes. Today, while speaking to a young 14 year old girl named Randi; whom was recently spinal cord injured, I drew upon Bobak's smiling face in my mind and thought how lucky we are to be alive. Randi and her family were involved in an auto accident just a few months ago. Randi unfortunately lost a sibling in the incident, her mother suffered a traumatic head injury, and now young Randi faces a long daunting road to her own recovery. I mention both Bobak and Randi in this entry because it is a testament of life. Bobak; born with adversity, lives everyday with and ear to ear smile, despite his plight, and Randi, at the young age of 14 shows incredible strength and will to rise above an almost overwhelming circumstance and beat the odds. I am guided by these two lights and humbled by their spirit.

The training day started with a masochistic massage. I once again found myself lying face up on Taylor's treatment table. However, I was not there to receive passive static stretching, or range of motion, I instead, willingly allowed Taylor to perform what is known as "defacilitation" on my right hip, knee and ankle. In other words, I let Taylor press pretty damn hard on key release points on my leg, provoking relaxation within the muscle and surrounding tissues. Let me tell you, this is no massage! It feels as though he is trying to jam a butter knife into my leg, it hurts to the point of laughter. After my 30 minutes of lip biting, tear jerking body work, I rolled into the main gym where I tortured myself further. I focused primarily on upper body, emphasizing my back and biceps. A great way to start a productive week; good workout, followed by an intellectually stimulating dinner meeting with likeminded individuals. Hopefully these meetings will become common place as we align ourselves with philanthropic business minds who share our passion of helping others. Our proverbial snow ball grows, as the mission gains momentum.

Toots...my friend, my mentor, my biggest supporter and my loving mother. There is in my mind no other more loving, compassionate woman on the planet than Toots, of course, I'm bias. You may wonder why I call my mom "Toots". Truthfully, I'm not real sure, other than the fact that it's been her calling card from me since I was 7 or 8 years old. She has raised me and my younger sister Arielle in environments filled with diverse culture, immense love and boundless creative freedom. I have traveled the world hand in hand with Toots, always confident in her resilient ability to provide no matter the circumstance, almost a super hero figure in my eyes. Toot's is why I'm here, and why I'm able to do the things I do today, literally! She has again, taken on a super hero role in my life, riding the tandem bicycle with me, and not just for a Sunday stroll. We are training partners and teammates on the bike, sharing copious amounts of quality time together. What other 26 year old dude rides a tandem bike with his mom? What other 26 year old dude has a mom like Toots...      I love you Toots.

Stretching is a vital part of my training equation, and the only part that guarantees improvement. I wrestle with spastisity daily (muscle stiffness) sometimes to the point of dysfunction. As my body grows stronger, so do involuntary muscle contraction. Maintaining a normal length tension ratio in my muscles throughout my body is absolutely crucial to my walking, riding, or even simple tasks like raising my arms over my head to flip a hat backwards. Truthfully I feel like the "Tin Man" right now from the amount of time I've spent lately on my back with my foot elevated. I have been layering some good workout lately only to get home and lie down and ice. That's the problem, as soon as my body starts to respond to rigorous physical activity I shut it down by resting. I have learned that my body is stronger than I know, meaning the more I do, the more I can do, without rest. Don't get me wrong, rest is most important in a complete training program and must parallel proper nutrition, but too much rest can quickly turn into rust, and rust is a big waste.

Howdy ya'll, I reckon I autta tell ya'll bout my family roots. Today after my workout and a few hours of ice and elevation I got bored, so I rummaged through some old photos. Yup! You guessed it; by this little man photo of me wearing my boots, belt, and hat, not to metion the Saltine crackers I'm snackin on, shows, that way down under my current California cool, I'm just a good o'l boy. My mom's entire family is from the heartland, Oklahoma. Mixing Cherokee Indian, Norwegian, and German. My dad's side is from Canada and mostly Russian, therefore if you just add Kaluha, milk, and ice I'd make a damn good cocktail! I was born and raised in California and for a long time fought against my redneck genes by surfing, skateboarding, and of course racing motorcycles. It's only been in recent years that I realized I'm going full circle back to my family's roots. It's when I look in my closet and see a pair of cowboy boots, tight jeans, and a belt with a 2 pound buckle. Or when I'm on the phone with family and I start to drawl my words as though I were Billy Bob Thorton. My friends really notice it when I get all hoped up on drag racing and bull riding. What can I say? I'm a thick slice of white bread. I can sit here and write all night about my families and the long branches of heritage I stem from but we'll save details for another entry. For now, all I'll say is..."I got more luv and light in my family than an o'l Eskimos got ice".

A quiet morning in the gym, lead to a relaxing afternoon with my Aunt Neta and Toots. Thick grey fog blanketed the San Fernando Valley this morning setting a melancholy gym atmosphere. My time with Taylor was short but sweet, focusing on upper body range of motion and flexibility. I then jumped on the stationary spin bike only to find myself by myself. I enjoy riding stationary solo; in my own world of make believe race tracks and imaginary mountain top climbs, panting to my own tempo. The training room today though was quiet, cold and distant feeling, so quiet I could hear my own heartbeat. My pedal cadence was so slow that the bike made no sound as I visualized my self in slow motion at the finish line of a race. My time on the bike was spent pedaling both legs slowly as to stretch tight muscles and re-assure proper nero imprinting of correct bilateral cycling mechanics, making every pedal revolution perfect. Not focused on heart rates or intensity and without listening to my mp3 music player, I felt a strange solitude as I counted breathes and rpm's. Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do, and then I drift back to that late afternoon day in the dirt, lying there on the race track with my left hand in front of my face. I remember clearly, looking at my hand through dusty goggles trying desperately to move it, thinking to myself; "I just broke my neck, this is bad". I often reflect on those vivid moments when time stopped, those moments that mold my mission today and push me to be the best man I can be, I wouldn't take it back or change a thing.

Perseverance.Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. I surround myself with people who embody this quality; my good friend Donovan displays a grand example of this character trait. There are few who truly understand the mix feelings and emotions, the sense of gain and loss a spinal cord injury creates in a un injured mind. It is primarily one who has suffered first hand this mind roller coaster that can relate and ultimately bring solace to another's state. Donovan and I do that for each other, sharing openly the effect our injuries have on our young lives. We reminisce about old days of racing and old friends; we talk about current physical and emotional difficulties and inspire one another to work harder. I remember the year before my injury, staying with Donovan in a mobile home parked on a motocross track in Hemet California. We would literally ride out the front door onto a perfectly groomed race track. After long days of hard laps, we would head to the gym to train. After a good workout I would be completely spent and looking for a pillow to crash on. Dono, on the other hand, would lace up his running shoes and set off on a marathon paced run over the surrounding hills. I would sit back in awe at the sheer determination in that guy, and studied his perseverance in the face of what seemed to be big obstacles back then. I do the same today.faced with circumstances that would break the average man, Dono laces up his ass kicking shoes and does what he does best.Persevere. Determined to do something, to make a difference, we support each other, (861+249 our national race numbers) to Rise Above our adversity share the gift of our lives.

What an incredible day! Spending the late morning on the patio sipping coffee and eating my favorite down home breakfast "Biscuits and Gravy" chatting with my Aunt Peattie and Toot's, a great way to start the day. My cell phone rang around 1 pm; it was Brandon. Brandon is an old friend of mine who has recently been working towards his pilot's license. He told me awhile ago, that I would receive a random phone call one day saying to meet him at the air strip ready to fly. Boy was I ready! What an amazing experience, just the two of us in a single engine Cessna, soaring over the Southern California landscape. We flew up the coastline to Ventura, making a few bold swoops and turns over a friend's house in Malibu. Brandon had me take the wheel and execute a few maneuvers myself, even guiding the plane down to an air strip in Oxnard for a "Touch N' Go" landing. What a rush! My adrenaline was definitely flowing. There is a real sense of freedom up there in a VW Bug size plane. Oscillating with gusts of wind, floating on the translucent currents in the sky, I felt euphoric. Even when safely back on the ground I felt drunk, as though day dreaming the whole experience. Again, I step back in awe at the quality of people in my life, and feel so completely grateful. I too now, have the flying bug, and maybe one day I'll be making a random phone call to someone telling them to meet me for a day in the sky.

From "Complete" to "Incomplete", that is the prognosis. Doctors generally seem to project in worse case scenario. As in my prognosis; I was deemed a "Complete c, 4-5-6 quadriplegic" originally. Now obviously, incomplete! My friend Kenny is just over 1 year post injury and was first diagnosed as "Complete c, 3 quadriplegic". Kenny is now making huge progress weekly, standing unassisted, walking with bracing and a 4 wheeled walker and gaining more and more independence. Kenny and his family are a shining example of total dedication to the rehabilitation process, by relocating from Northern California to the L.A. area in order to maximize his potential through a guided physical training programs. I admire the strength of Kenny and his family to overcome such odds and respect the willingness to not leave any stone unturned in this process. Way to go Kenny and the Craig family!

Good news was well received today. The orthopedic doctor deemed my ankle and knee strong enough to begin pedaling lightly on the bicycle. No hills, no jumps, were the instructions from the doc. I am excited about the news because that shows me how well my body is healing and further boosts my confidence of my bodies overall health and wellness. Sometimes I loose sight of how hard my body works for me and how healthy I really am. My physical achievements are mostly masked by the immense effort and mental fortitude it takes me to create movement. I am often told by my mom and Taylor to lighten up on myself because of the high intensity and expectation I place on my head. I try for the most part to step back and let my journey unfold, I just can't help but crack the whip on myself and everyone around me. I see potential, everywhere, in everyone, and a part of me expects people to see it too. I guess that's my eternal optimism thinking, hoping for and wanting the best for all.

The "Circle of Function" or in my modified interpretation, the "Spiral" of function. A quality training program should always consist of these 8 important elements. My entire rehabilitation process has been launched off this platform, guided by Taylor Isaacs. We strategically integrate each part into planned routines. Today, before revisiting the bicycle Taylor pressed the importance of #1, Joint Stability. My ankle is weak, thus unstable, so again defaciletation, range of motion and manual resistance is what we focused on today. I like to use the "Spiral" as an example because; the entire universe is based on it, it's everywhere in nature and I visualize my energy this way. All of my functional return has slowly spiraled from this theory and in my case I choose to continue my upward spiral, maintaining positive mental structure over my health and wellness.

Tired. This is how I showed up at the gym this morning at 6:30 am. Half awake and sore from the work earlier in the week, I literally passed out in my Jeep in the parking lot of Gold's Gym until 7:15 am. I awoke to Taylor...tap, tap, tapping on the window jolting me from a drooling slumber. Luckily Taylor wanted to passively stretch my lower extremities instead of work out. After a thorough stretch I rode the stationary spinner, head nodding, with one eye open I pedaled a steady 40 minutes. Yes, I know, I did not post yesterday's journal entry. I apologize and will do my best to keep my journal updated daily. I enjoy writing my thoughts and sharing my days, only lately my schedule is less than optimal for real productive training. Since I began journalizing and with my recent knee/ankle injury my sleep pattern has changed. I like to let my day wined down and then reflect on the events there in. Only by the time I'm done reflecting it's near midnight, way past my usual bed time of 9:30/10:00 pm. I am now forcing a change in my night owl program as to produce more effective ride/training time and earlier reflections. Bear with me as I become a grumpy old fart from the change in my sleep habit. I promise I will continue writing and sharing my thoughts, as long as you enjoy reading them.

What a day!  Eggo waffles, a smoldering hot motocross track, Mexican food, a ten minute cat nap at 4 pm, Sushi, a dive Bar on Ventura blvd called the "Barrel", and the largest party of the year at Casa Blanca all in birthday celebration for two of my good friends; Adam Bice and Brody Jenner. The best part was I enjoyed these good times with one of my closest/oldest friends; Marc Jolley. Marc drove down from Carmel to visit for the weekend. The timing was perfect, Toots is out of town and I am not training on the bicycle this weekend and my ankle is feeling much better, so Marc and I filled the day with tons o' fun. I really enjoyed spending time with Marc, he and I were inseparable as young punks terrorizing our small community in Carmel. We haven't spent very much time together since my injury, basically because, I removed myself from any social scene to focus on my recovery over the past 6 years. My closest friends understand that, and when we get together these days it's as though we were never apart. Adam Bice is a pinnacle of stability in my life, a friend that I can count on for anything, a guy who, when speaks you listen and trust. I loved celebrating another year of his life with so many great people. Again, I sit here and reflect, thankful for all the love.

The two most important women in my life are Toots and my sister Arielle. Arielle is only two years younger than me so we have many mutual friends. Growing up Arielle and I were extremely close, taking interest in each others sports. I think she may have liked my dirt bike racing a little more than I liked her horse back riding, but we supported each other none the less. Over the past few years we seem to have grown apart, our interests are and goals are at odd ends. I understand the effects of my catastrophic injury affect more than just me, rippling through my family and friends like a dropped stone to water. I can only hope one day Arielle will find the silver lining in my accident and all the beauty before us. The bottom line is...I wouldn't change a thing! This accident has transformed us all into much more loving, compassionate, productive and aware individuals, leading our lives with open hearts and open minds. Arielle is allot like me, almost scary sometimes; she has the potential to do ANYTHING! I believe in her ability and hope I lead by example. I felt like sharing my sister tonight, thinking about how spoiled we are with love.  Love you sis.

Preparation = Poise & Confidence. Funny how confidence in one's self fluctuates from day to day. One who walks the fine line between self possession and humility treads uncommon water. For most, confidence is a facade, a mask if you will, a manufactured image to hide uncertain eyes. I know this mask well; experiencing a life shattering event took me from extreme self possession (confidence) to a state of utter anonymity. I now see the shallows below this false projection of ego, and aim to live in a deep ocean of practiced awareness of myself and others, standing tall, poised and confident. I have spent the last 6 years of my life rebuilding my sense of self; I seek to meld together my prior presence with today's depth of understanding. This practice of conscious awareness can help cultivate the inner beauty and strength we all embody, exuding tremendous amounts of self realized confidence. This discovery can help one walk through this life unmasked, open, and prepared to face our world. Whether sport, business, social, or emotional; egoless self possession will enable a positive forward thinking approach to a successful outcome.

A day of hope turns to a day of heart break. At 9:30 am I found myself standing, looking down on Wilshire Boulevard, peering from the office windows of BWR public relations firm. Collectively we pursue our mission with the fervor of a zealot, intending on aligning our selves with like-minded individuals and corporations, in plans for promoting the importance of ongoing therapeutic exercise. Our meeting this morning was hopeful and was a nice way to start a productive day. Upon our return home, the light, optimistic atmosphere turned heavy and grey. Our four year old Ocicat named "JC Bunny" had to be put down, a decision no pet owner wants to make. JC was a unique little girl having suffered a spinal cord injury as a kitten. I named her JC which stands for "Jacked Cat" and my mom added "Bunny" because of her rabbit like way of hopping. It was only perfectly fitting that we own a paralyzed cat because hey! We're rehabbing anyways. She was the sweetest, friendliest, most loving little critter I've ever known, she gave endless amounts of love and joy to everyone who knew her. Our decision was prompted by her chronic condition and the tremendous suffering she endured. JC Bunny will be missed and never replaced. Hop on little bunny...

How sweet it is...Back on the bike and back to the future, pedaling towards our goals. I am being very cautious with my knee and ankle, slowly progressing from my stationary spinner to the tandem bike. I will increase my ride time by 10% every ride until both my knee and ankle are strong and stable. I am really happy at how quickly my body is healing, it has been 1 month exactly since the last time we rode the tandem bike, albeit I've trained single legged on my stationary bikes in the interim. There is a significant difference between the three bikes I train on. My KHS road bike is set up identical to my tandem bike riding position and is fixed to a stationary trainer in my garage; it provides by far the most challenging stationary workouts. The Spinner in the gym has general ride position adjustments and a heavy flywheel, when pedaling; each pedal stroke carries momentum throughout the entire revolution, similar to the stoker position on the tandem. Our KHS tandem bike is in a class of its own. The ergonomics of the bike, the physics of it's handling, and the team work while pedaling make riding the bike a unique and challenging experience. I have learned over many hard miles to relinquish control to my mom/teammate. She is the captain of the bike and I am merely a motor riding the back seat. Having ridden my own bike/motorcycle since the age of three and being in full control of my speed, direction and trajectory, this sacrifice was easier said than done. There are to this day many times when I drive from the back seat, directing Toots where to go, how fast and in what gear to pedal. I can't help it! I have to feel somewhat in control. The key to riding the tandem efficiently is communication. We now communicate by code words, relaying info back and forth to produce synergistic cycling. I'm stoked to be pedaling again and look forward to laying down some good layers of fitness over the next 6 months.

Another man, another iron will. Because of my involvement with spinal cord injury I have been introduced to many amazingly strong individuals. Samuel is a testament of sheer determination. He sustained a high level spinal cord injury which has left him confined to his electric wheelchair, until today! Sammy, Guatemalan born, moved to the states in search of the dream, instead a life changing accident altered his vision. However, Sammy's foresight into the future is strong and visualized daily. Every time I see Samuel he's smiling and gives me an encouraging high-five handshake before he begins his workout with Taylor. Today I witnessed Samuel propelling a manual wheelchair on his own, a feat few believed possible considering the severity of his injury. Congrats Sammy...keep pushin bro! The possibilities are endless, you prove that! After a solid 3 hours in the gym and an estimated 1000 repetitions of various exercises both upper and lower body I cruised home for lunch and a nap. I needed the nap because the evening held an exciting event. Big Dume was playing at the House of Blues in Hollywood, when my buddies call with the hook-ups, I'm there! It also happens to be my dear friend Hollyn's birthday Saturday so I decided to take her to the show for an early b-day present. The show was awesome! Hollyn was beautiful, and I was spent. Tired from a long day I finally hit my pillow at 1:00am.

Enjoy the ride! At some point we all know the physical life as we know it comes to an end. The metaphoric roller coaster ride seems to gain in speed and undulations as we age, creating blurred landscape as we whirl through the turns in life. This injury has forced a set of heavy duty breaks on my dragster lifestyle, slowing me down enough to smell the roses. This element of my perspective is invaluable, and I cherish daily. I have learned that the "Process is the Progress", not to lose sight of daily achievements or incremental gains (baby steps). I recently enjoyed a historic meal with my mother, reminiscing over the ancient aromas of Persian rice and kabob. These types of foreign meals were common place in my childhood house hold. This lunch is an example of the roses, a delightful opportunity to STOP! SIT! TALK! And reflect on the magnificent miracle that is LIFE.

Who can resist an invitation to a backyard BBQ on a hot summer weekend...apparently I can't! My dear friend Erin with an (E) has been trying to get me over to her house for a while now. It always seems like every time she calls I'm to busy with my training, or some other obligation. I don't like to live with an underlying sense of guilt. I love my friends and cherish the fun times we have together, so I made time this weekend for the shindig at her house. A Saturday afternoon BBQ turned into a late night slumber party. Erin was watching her little brother Morgan for the weekend, he was the life of the party, dancing for us, playing cards and watching movies. I love that little guy, I gave him one of my old motocross jerseys as a gift for his birthday, and when I walked in his room, I saw it framed, hanging on the wall. I can't tell you how great it feels to see Morgan smile at my memorabilia; some of my other friends also display my old riding gear in their homes. Seeing that stuff makes my racing days seem more real to me, after being away from the sport for so long I sometimes feel as though it were all a dream. Motorcycle racing taught me allot, took me many places and introduced me to a lot of great people; Erin and Morgan being two of them. Today began with early morning wrestling matches with Morgan, bagles with cream cheese and the worst reality  tv I have ever seen. Our planned bike ride didn't happen and I am to blame. Toots was ready to ride in the 103 degree heat today, but my late arrival home and lack of proper sleep and nutrition put a dampener on the program. I won't kick myself to much for having fun, but I do know it's time to get down to business.                             

Happy Birthday Toots!!! Yup, my Madre is 49 years young today. We had planned on riding 49 miles for her birthday, last August we rode 48 miles on Pacific Coast Highway. This year there have been a few bumps in the road impeding forward progress. Despite the hurdles we are both far stronger today than this time last year. My day did not start off very well; I awoke with a splitting headache, the kind brought on by a secondary complication of SCI called "Autonomic Dysriflexia". Dysriflexia is caused by the body sending distress signals to the brain. The problem is those signals never reach the brain because of the spinal cord injury, thus creating a massive amount of internal pressure resulting in an increase in blood pressure, sweating, headache, and sometimes vomiting. I determined my symptoms this morning were caused by a full bladder, slightly dehydrated and lack of quality sleep. I have grown to understand my body well and when something like Dysriflexia arises I immediately run a mental check list of potential culprits. My remedy was action! A solid three hours of intense workout had me sweating, intern drinking, working, intern eating, and now tired, promoting better sleep. Toot's and I agreed to spend the day working instead of celebrating, we share tons of quality time together, so rather than break the bank and go out, we enjoyed lunch at the house and business as usual.

8-30-2005

It seems like every time I watch local Southern California news there are people always whining about how hot it is, or if it rains, will it ever stop? Nobody ever seems to praise the fact that compared to the southeastern states our weather is considerably temperate. I can't help but write about the suffering taking place right now because of recent Hurricane Katrina. So many lives turned upside down, even lost. Mother natures wrath can be utterly devastating, re-impressing who's really in control. Yes, it has been hot here in Southern Cali, and yes it makes for uncomfortable out door activities unless you are pool side, lake side or beach bound. My point is; there is no immediate threat on our safety or well being, unless you forget to drink water and spend the day jogging in a sweat suit. We do however have unstable fault lines that give us a good shake from time to time; it's a pretty familiar dance. I on the other hand, find it hard to imagine the gale force winds of a hurricane, or the tyrants of water flooding neighborhoods, even cities. Growing up in a rather season less part of the country, I do not relate to such weather induced disasters, minus El Nino. As I follow the progress of the storm and its aftermath, I visualize what some of these cities will look like next year as we ride across the very roads that are now submerged by flooding. My heart and thoughts go out to all stricken by this extreme adversity.

"Slow and steady gets you ready"... A mantra instilled in me by Taylor Isaacs. I am a lot like my mom when it comes to work, projects, or sport. We like to dive into things 100%, with high intensity, like a sprinter. That's how I attacked my recovery, 100%, from the moment my head hit the ground. At my one year anniversary mark I suffered the effects of severe depression because my hospital therapy program came to an end. I had a fire burning inside me, a desire to push myself as far as I felt possible; not what therapists thought possible. With no where to go for physical therapy I began a meltdown, slowly eroding into a deep dark place. No one and nothing could bring me out, only possibility. I knew that I had the motivation and the will to give 100% of myself to the process, all I needed was the opportunity. Taylor Isaacs was that opportunity, and the rest is history. Together we coined the phrase "Education + Motivation = Results". We worked at an extreme level of intensity, sometimes I felt like I could spontaneously self combust. Most of the time that is what it takes to rise above mediocrity, it takes everything you have. I have learned though, in order to participate at a high level in the marathon race of life, you need patience, persistence, and will. "Patience" with the tedious and ever changing process, "Persistence" in your work efforts, and "Will" to lay it all out there and have faith in your self and your ability. I could have used a picture of a turtle for this analogy, but a turtle doesn't leave his mark showing us his trail traveled, guidelines for those without.