As expected, delayed onset muscular soreness and fatigue began to set in today.  I started off this morning rather strong, although half way through my routine I faded quickly and ended feeling completely drained.  When my body is fatigued I start to lose synchronicity, my walking becomes even more slow and labored, I struggle with simple tasks like; getting in and out of the car, undressing, or hiking up my 14 stairs to my room and office.  I expect to feel even worse tomorrow, after a total body integration routine, I use this protocol more as an active stretch and flush for a quicker recovery over the weekend. 

Ok, so for the most part I like to project an image of positive energy and confidence, portraying a pillar of strength for my friend and foe.  This arrival is hard fought; my stance is formed through countless humbling hours of fear, doubt, and humility.  Pain, in all it's form has a way of breaking brick, walls that conceal truth.  I posture for myself and for those who don't. 

I share now in brief my last few days...

...Friday, on my back in the gym, executing a specialized core routine designed by Taylor was a creatively effective way of finishing a week of productive fitness.  Later that evening I found myself sitting passenger with my girl heading northbound on I-15 to Las Vegas.  I know, I know, Vegas out of the blue is almost always out of the question for me, I struggled with the decision to go.  I looked long and hard into the eyes of my pretty lady and gave in to her request.  I had fun at my expense, long nights and less sleep invoked instability in my physical confidence. 

Lately, with the copious amounts of off time I feel as though I'm slipping.  This is when I need to catch myself before I fall to far into one of those ruts...You know, a place mentally where the light becomes dim, where answers are hard to find, where foresight is blurred and tomorrow never seems to come.  I know these ruts well, my road is neither paved nor groomed, I ride a rain filled track making line choices on fly as I twist the throttle of life wide open. 

Today, mentally scattered, I half stepped into the gym.  I wore slippers on bare feet because of wounds suffered over the weekend.  I managed to some what satisfy my self with a good stretch and 100 crunches, but I still left feeling void.  I know what my problem is; I share openly with those closest to me and expose the root.  "Fear", it can be debilitating, or liberating.  I realize I have let my fear shake me temporarily.  "Temporary"!  That is the key word.  I expose the weak parts and allow for their existence...it is necessary, it is real, a part of our human nature - I learn. 

In continuum from yesterday's journal entry about "fear" and my temporary mental decline, I figure I will share my rebound method and the how I keep from falling off the proverbial bull. 

After talking and writing about my state of mind I began to see clearer my muddy road.  I rested in that clarity last night, sleeping through visions of today and how I see myself spending time.  I awoke to a fresh perspective and an agenda.  The early hours of training were intense; I've shared before the euphoric state rigorous exercise can induce.  Head down, teeth grit, I growled deep from within, pushing myself to a limit not often felt, but welcomed.  I chanted quietly; "this is it - today is all I have" and with that I saw what I'm made of.  Life's to short man, I don't want to sit back and dwell on the shoulda, coulda, woulda's.  I immediately went back to the 10 most powerful two letter words... IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME!!! 

So there it is, the only quick fix for a chronic condition called life...ACTION! 

And if your wondering who the badass on the bull is...Yeah, it's my cousin Bowdy Peach. I'm posting a few more photos of him in my "Gallery"

Yeah I'm a dork!  This is my school photo... Kidding!  This picture represents the primary musculature I focused on today in the gym.  I applied the same strength routine from yesterday back/biceps workout towards today's effort.  Again, I left all my marbles on the gym floor, every ounce of energy was focused on perfect repetition.  I am gaining mental and physical momentum since my TEMPORARY glitch.

In all, my workouts have been productive, my projects are slow but moving along and my relationships are stronger than ever.  This time of year is important for communication, reconnecting with friends and loved ones, letting them know their importance.  My minute of selfish thought has been extinguished by loving smiles and encouraging words from those who mean most.  I encourage you to extend your ear and heart for friends and family alike.  In the compassionate words of the late Mother Theresa "Works of love are works of peace". 

Rise and shine...Another early flight meant another early trip to the airport.  Toot's and Taylor left for Phoenix this morning where they'll be meeting with executives from the Arizona Neuro Institute.  I stayed behind because frankly I've been away from my program for to long.  Although both Taylor and Toots are gone I can still utilize my personal gym equipment as well as the stationary spinner.  I'm excited because my bro Brian is cruising into town to stay with me.  Brian is a paraplegic and a serious Kart racer; he competes at the highest level of karting against able-body racers.  Tomorrow he plans on taking me to drive a few specially adapted shifter karts in Corona Ca.  Since he'll be showing me the ropes in driving a shifter kart, I'll teach him a little something about training to drive those shifter karts.  We'll see how the next few days unfold; hopefully I'll keep all four wheels on the tar mack and elevated heart rates so as to continue my building process...

What a blast!!!  I have not felt that type of rush since being injured.  The last time I remember experiencing sensations of adrenaline pumping, split second decision making was on a motocross track.  Brian and I spent Friday afternoon driving European style electric race karts at an indoor race facility called Pole Position Raceway.  These karts accelerate from 0-45 mph in a heartbeat and are by no means your average go-kart.  I have driven a few karts since my injury but was always unable to steer with enough force to go fast safely.  However this time I wore driving gloves and taped my right hand to the steering wheel.  I had a grin from ear to ear under my helmet as I hooted and hollered past other drivers.  I surprised myself a few times at how aggressive I become with a helmet on, It was as though I was never injured, bumping, rubbing, and skidding my way around the track.  You can bet I'll be returning to Pole Position for a few more laps of high octane fun.

The rest of my weekend was spent dining out with friends, watching movies and basically taking it easy.  I picked Toots up from the airport tonight and had a great conversation about her time spent in Arizona with the Henry family, the Neuro Institute, the Arbonne girls and what our plans are for our Bike Tour and Christmas.  Even though 2005 is coming to a close, we've got alot of stuff happening.  Glad your back Toots!

Pardon Monday's delinquency, I received a less than pleasant phone call from my dearest friend Adam Zerbe.  Adam with a quiver in his voice told me about an accident his father suffered over the weekend while exploring property in Santa Cruz California.  Adam explained in great detail the extent of his father's injuries and how the family and doctors were preparing to remove the life support that barely kept Mr. Carl Zerbe alive.  Adam and his fraternal twin brother Lindley are like brothers to me, my decision to drive 5 hours to Carmel to be by their side was no decision at all, but rather my reaction to this time of need.  Carl Zerbe stood a magnificent man among men, leading a colorful life in spite of adversity.  Stricken with the disease Polio at a young age, Carl managed to succeed at life, building a lucrative and fulfilling career in law, traveling the globe and raising a beautiful family in Carmel.  In my opinion, Carl's true mark in this life are the two incredible boys he raised with his wife Audrey.  Both Adam and Lindley Zerbe are shinning testaments of their father's intellect, love and fighting spirit. 

My time last night and today with the Zerbe family re-affirmed our eternal connection, the bond we as humans have together, the ability to share the time allotted us.  This gift of life, of breath, is precious.  I stand humbly between Carl's creation and thank him for his gift...

Go well Carl,

...into the sky-like nature of our minds.

Waking to awareness.  On the heels of yesterday's unfortunate events, Toot's and I attempted an early morning workout.  Taylor began by instructing Toot's through a lunging routine while defacilitating my upper back and neck.  The long intense drive to and from Carmel reeked havoc on my spine, causing muscle spasms that kinked my neck.  After a painful session of defacilitation massage...which felt like knives probing my skin, I continued in the gym with a lower body circuit.  Lately with the recent lack of training consistency I have found it difficult to channel my focus.  Many discouraging thoughts arise and then fall soaking precious energy.  A boost of moral came in the form of a positive phone call from Pat Rummerfield today.  He and his Next-Steps Foundation believe in and support our cycling endeavors.  Pat and I discussed the details of the cross country ride and ended our conversation confident we can make it happen, financially!  Sufficient funds and institute alliance are the primary road blocks to our vision.  I believe 100% percent in our physical ability; it's just aligning with those who believe the same.  If the winds of support ceases to blow beneath our wings, we flap harder in hopes of soaring high above for those who fall. 

Productive training... I executed every exercise I visualized myself performing this morning.  In sequence I worked at a moderate pace concentrating on my cardiovascular system.  I really enjoy these types of workouts where my body responds to everything I attempt.  Toot's rode right along side me, pushing the pedals and pushing her heart rate.  It's important we train together, working similar routines at a similar pace.  This ensures we maintain synchronicity on the tandem bike.  We're a team!  After my workout I spent a little time with my girl who wasn't feeling all that well.  I then joined friends in Hollywood for a Christmas party/concert.  This day is merging into tomorrow, I write this entry way past my bed time.  Off to bed...

Just as the picture says...Beat the bug!  That's what I'm trying to do.  Today I woke up feeling the aches of impending doom.  You know, where your body just doesn't feel right, no energy and achy all over.  It doesn't come as a surprise because so many people have been sick lately and I have been in and around environments that spread the bug, i.e. the gym, night clubs and friends.  So far I'm keeping the bug at bay, resting for the majority of the day, sipping green teas, Thai soup and fruit juices.  I hope to override this bug with my kick-ass immune system; at least that's what I keep telling myself.  I plan for plenty of rest and low activity to allow my system to work it's magic. 

When in doubt, GAS IT!!!  That's an important rule when racing and today that's what I did.  After spending the whole of Friday and Saturday in bed or on the couch sipping tea and soup, I decided I would return to life with a slice of race-kart adrenalin.  Although feeling not quite 100% percent, I couldn't refuse the cocky challenge of kart racing Brian presented me with.  He again met me at the race track where this time I was ready for him.  He posted one of the days best lap times with me only 3 tenths of a second trailing.  For the short time I was on the track I felt great! No body ache, head ache, or cold symptoms, only short deep breaths, quick, tense reactions and thoughts of victory flags in my head.  Yeah I don't feel all that well right now, I may have overdosed on adrenalin, but I'm pretty pumped to know I've still got what it takes to go fast and show the boys a line or two.  I hope to rest well tonight, readying myself for tomorrow...

Happy birthday dad!!!  My old man is 53 years young today.  He hates it when I say old man...sorry pops.  I look back on memories of good times and smile knowing I share those times with my best friend and father, "Dan".  For as long as I can remember, I've had my father by my side supporting me and my interests.  With a loving hand, dad would guide me, encouraging my spirit and skill, shadowing my falls with bear hugs and kisses, promising improvement tomorrow.  His heart beats that of ten men, sometimes over swollen with imagination for things to come; this is where my eternal optimism stems from and his success as a loving father.  I am so lucky to share with my dad, this time, this love and our friendship.  We inspire one another as men and learn through wonderful experience.  I love you dad!  May we, in the famous words of the late great, James Dean; "Dream as though we'll live forever, and Live as though today were our last". 

Still feeling under the weather Toot's and I worked out at a light pace this morning.  We were careful not to elevate our heart rates as not to further deplete our immune system, but rather enhance it.  I could feel the sickness still brewing every time I'd start to heat up during my workout.  I've been drinking most of my calories lately, Jamba juices, soups, and smoothies; these are great for my cold but not enough for weight management.  I have lost a few pounds because of the recent fluctuation in my program, this is something I'm not real happy about, but I know I'm still healthy and my body is working hard for me.  I spent the rest of the afternoon on my computer, working projects that needed my full attention.  Satisfied with my work, I'm ready for sleep.

Well, it had to be done.  Braving the masses of holiday humanity, I flung myself, sick feeling and all into the commerce mosh pit.  I'm not a big shopping fan; I rarely buy clothes for myself, let alone multiple items from multiple stores.  I did however; enjoy the thoughts of Christmas morning and the looks on my family and friends faces as they tear into their gifts.  We all know giving is far better than receiving, so my day of mall walking was totally worth it.  Plus, I gained allot of confidence in my ability today.  This year marks the first time since my injury I have actually gone out and shopped on my own.  It felt really good to walk around, perusing for the perfect gifts.  Most of my purchased gifts are a small addition to something I've made.  The little boy inside me is excited for the early hours of Christmas day.  The smell of the tree, the sound of a crackling fire and the sight of colorful gifts waiting to be torn into.  I wish Happy gathering to all, may this New Year bring love, laughter and health.  ~Aaron

I'm totally sick now... I guess I couldn't outrun the bug.  My head pounds as I type this entry and my chest burns with congestion.  I'm sorry but this is all I'm typing tonight.  Merry Holidays ;)

Fever Friday... Spiking at 103' degrees my body felt like it was on fire, throbbing bone pain, dull echoes in my head and surging nausea.  I got so hot my lips blistered.  All I could do was close my eyes and weather the storm.  I don't remember the last time I felt a fever like that.  I spent my entire day hoping my fever would break so that I would feel good enough to join my friends at the kart track Christmas Eve.  Yes, Saturday afternoon "Christmas eve" was spent driving race karts with Toot's and the boys.  I still had a low grade fever and felt poor, but my anticipation of whooping butt at the track lead me to the checkered flag first.  My friends and I enjoyed ourselves; Toot's on the other hand did not.  She squealed the tires on the kart for the first few laps, loving the thrill, until an unpleasant collision with another driver ended her fun.  We returned home to my dad's cooking; he arrived at our house from Sacramento while Toot's, Brian and I were still karting.  Dad's homemade gazpacho was just what the doctor ordered; fresh tomato, cilantro, onion, crab, shrimp and who knows what else, served chilled, sat well with my over heating system.  I slept sound with visions of Santa's sleigh on the roof and awoke to the smell of Christmas tree and coffee.  I sat, with coffee in hand and watched as one at a time my mom, dad and Brian opened their gifts.  I waited last to open the 4 by 4 foot box wrapped in red with my name on it.  To my delight, Toot's bought me an Everlast punching bag.  I am excited to use this modality to train for POWER!  Taylor Isaacs's definition:  "Power is the Athletic expression of strength".  My words cannot not tell of my gratitude for my family.  The warmth in my home, in my heart and in my thoughts was expressed this holiday season.  I can only hope to share through my action the love that has gifted me.   

I believe we cross paths with certain unique individuals for a reason.  I reflect on my many colorful relationships and realize how much these influences make up who I am.  Over the years I have culminated through these connections a multifariousness of interests, disinterest and knowledge.  Learning about life and its many facets through my own and others experiences.  I am an open book, I write my pages as I go, filling chapters with the characters of this world...and a few out of this world.  My morals and values are based upon how I like to be treated and how I was raised as a child...with love.  Currently, I am deriving great teachings from a young woman for whom is sharing with me her precious time.  Stephanie Minafra is a beautiful person inside and out. She was born with a spinal condition, (scoliosis) "lateral curvature of the spine".  This condition is fairly common; however her exaggerated 55 degree lateral curve is not and had to be surgically aligned only 7 months ago.  She is incredibly strong both physically and mentally and has a depth of wisdom rarely seen in youth.  I feel our influence in each others lives is for a greater purpose and I hope to nurture its potential.  I am sharing this picture I created; my Christmas gift to Stephanie to show, "Anything less than a true, honest, open, loving connection, is... a waste of time".

Early satiety has struck again.  It has been a few months since I last experienced stomach problems.  Today food was not my friend.  I look back on the events and condition I have been in over the past 10 days and determine my symptoms are a result of flu, detraining and stress.  I attribute the stress part to my own unease about detraining and my inconsistency in the gym.  I've shared before the fine line I walk with self satisfaction and reaching my personal expectations, in regards to training and projects.  This part of the stomach problem can be controlled...change the way I think.  My recent flu is the uncontrollable factor; upset stomach, fever, head aches and so on, are all just a part of the illness and beyond my immediate control.  I hope that through my better understanding of my body and it's systems I can resolve situations like this more quickly and prevent unnecessary suffering.

The future of "Walkman".  I remember my first Walkman; I was about 10 years old, playing cassette tapes, rocking out to heavy metal bands like Metallica, Anthrax and ACDC.  I thought carrying my music with me, listening on a pair of head phones was the coolest thing ever.  Well, I still do!  Except, today's technology has me carrying basically every song I've ever listen to.  The Apple "I Pod" can store up to 15,000 songs, which are all accessible at the push of a button.  This devise is a must have Item for cycling.  Long hours perched on a bike seat without any tunes can be torcher.  This Ipod was a gift over the holiday and will be well used.  Today I accumulated about 3/4 the Ipods capacity in music from a few friends.  In other words, 10,000 songs.  This Ipod will replace my obsolete mp3 player from which I've listened to the same 20 songs over and over and... I recommend an Ipod for any serious exerciser; music can enhance any moment and motivate even the dullest of days.

2005...A year of growth; physically, spiritually and emotionally.  For me, this year was a wild ride.  I experienced things I've never known before.  I celebrated with kin many achievements, fought physical and emotional pain and experienced moments of true clarity.  The ties between my family and friends has grown stronger and my collective network of like minded individuals is ever widening. 

In short; this time last year I was in and out of doctors offices under going a battery of tests to determine the root of my stomach problems.  We successfully completed the L.A. Marathon bike ride in 1:23.26, a full 45 minutes quicker than our first attempt.  We bought a new home and relocated to a new city.  Over the summer months I battled emotional and physical adversity, having knee, ankle and girl problems.  The fall was filled with training and travel, showcasing my independence.  As winter fell, my consistency with my training seem to wane; holiday travels, new projects and a little depression weighed in my mind.  I reflect on my 2005 roller coaster ride and am thankful for the many moments of teaching.  I am currently psyching myself up for the promise of 2006.  Happy New Years!!! 

Happy New Year to all.  2005 is officially in the books and on record as a year of work, fun and lesson.  Tonight as I watched the clock strike 12:00 I felt a shift occur in me, as though the second hand in my head triggered my alarm.  I love this about my personality; I've been gearing up mentally for this shift.  What I mean by shift is; a flux in my consciousness, an alacrity for what I set my mind and body to do.  Similar to the way I would psych up for an important race.  There is a period of time before this shift occurs where contemplation and analysis weigh heavy on my mind, but when the gate drops, or the flag waves, or as in my case the second hand hits 12:00am 2006, I know, deep from within, IT'S GO TIME!!!  So I'm excited about this New Year and all the possibilities.  May we start our journey of 3,000 miles with a single step...